Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I supernannyed him into submission
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize