so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize