Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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