sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Randomize
