remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
