I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
