the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
