I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
