I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
