I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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