I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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