she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
