I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize