guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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