Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
