She is in my trunk
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
