Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She announced her abortion via fbk
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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