it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
