Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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