how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
