Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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