Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
