Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
