i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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