dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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