3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
