Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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