if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize