Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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