Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
