My Higher Power is John Stamos
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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