she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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