we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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