She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
