at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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