It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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