WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize