i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I will be naked everywhere
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
