Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I have post one night stand depression
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
