I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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