I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
