We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
