Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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