i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
