one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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