Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
