we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
