dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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