I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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