Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
