He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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