GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
