Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
