there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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