The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
