He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
