Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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