You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
