Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
